short but not so sweet

January 31st, 2012 by ba (beloit, wi)

My boyfriend took me out for a nice dinner. During it, he got up to use the bathroom. He ran into the waiter who was carrying food to another table and the waiter dropped the food on me.

How’s the air down there?

January 23rd, 2012 by DeeDee (Orlando, FL)

It was the 70’s. You know when everyone wore flared jeans and platform shoes. Well I was like any other college student and you can be sure I had the jeans with the most flare and the platform shoes with a minimum four inch wedge. I packed my bag and was off to a weekend at another university within the state. My best friend was fixing me up with her boyfriend’s brother. Upon arriving at the designated meeting spot I was horrified to find that my date was only 5’7″. I am 5′ 8″ and with my four inch platforms, I towered over my date. I spent the entire weekend somewhat squatting every time we walked side by side or tried to dance.

Zoo vs. Swimming

December 21st, 2011 by Slim (Knoxville, Tennessee)

Back when I lived in K-Town I took this really fine girl that I had known since high school on a date. Originally, she had wanted us to go to the Knoxville Zoo. But since zoos stink really bad and if I wanted to watch monkeys mate I would watch the Discovery Channel, I tried persuading her to go on a short cruise on one of K-Town’s riverboats. Immediately after I had suggested it she tells me that she can’t swim and hates fish. I laugh, and say we’ll only be on a boat today and there would be no swimming involved. She hesitates, but caves in. We buy our tickets and prepare to board. At this point I believe she begins warming up to the cruise idea because she becomes really chatty and admires the local scenery a great deal. We go to board and up the ramp we go. About midway one of her heel gets stuck in a hole in the ramp and she just flips backwards right in to an elderly couple. This makes them fall and no longer gives my date anything to brace herself against so she slips under the railing and falls right in to the water. At this point, my emotions are mixed with shock and laughter. I get off the ramp and wade down in to the water to her and she is FURIOUS and says she had known something like this would happen and that we should have went to the zoo instead.

Nothin’ but class

December 10th, 2011 by Mickey (Abilene, KS)

He showed up over an hour early and I wasn’t even dressed. Then we went to the movie (also really early) and we ended up having to wait about 20 minutes before they would even let us into the theater. The movie ended up being FULL of explicit sex scenes which just made it really awkward since it was a first date. Then when we went out for drinks afterward, I got a much stronger drink than I should have, and while tipsy, I talked about my ex and also fell in front of an oncoming car. When he took me home, I realized I had locked myself out of my apartment, and he ended up having to break in, which he did a little too easily. When he got ready to leave, instead of a kiss, I got a fist bump from him. It was stellar. We did NOT go out again.

There was a girl I used to like in college. We were classmates and hung out a few times, even kind of going on a date before. She even invited me over to her place once and cooked dinner for me. So, obviously all signs were pointing towards the fact that she liked me so I got ready to ask her to be my girlfriend. One night when I was sending her back home, I stopped outside her apartment to let her off. I also decided to gather some courage and tell her I liked her and be my girlfriend. She gave me a weird look and just ran out the car without saying a word. I was absolutely shocked and I never heard from her again.

When I was in elementary school I sat next to this girl and we became friends. We began to talk to each other and helped each other with homework. By the end of elementary school we were good friends. In middle school things started getting more in depth. We had similar classes since we were both pretty smart. We often studied together; we swam in the same swim team and talked to each other even more. At lunch we sat with each other and by the end of middle school we were like brother and sister. In high school we were always just friends and never talked about having relationships but we both knew it was somewhere in the back of our minds. I guess having been friends since we were 8 made it kind of awkward. One day when we were juniors I asked her if she wanted to go see the new Harry Potter with me and she said sure. So we went to the movie and got our popcorn and found a good seat. About half way through the movie I had to go use the restroom but as I was standing up I knocked over my Pepsi on to her and it spilled all over. It was rather embarrassing because the theater was pretty crowded and they all saw us. She felt really embarrassed too and went to the restroom to clean up, but she never came back. I didn’t know where she was and then at school she didn’t talk to me anymore. I heard from a friend that a guy from our school saw with the drink spilled on her and took a picture and was now sending it around. I thought I had a chance with her but my clumsiness just ruined it.

The Only Guy

August 13th, 2011 by Paul (Brookline, MA)

I work in a small office with all women, and we were recently at a staff picnic for our company. The topic of conversation turned to office romance, and some of my coworkers started counting off all of the times in the past when people from the company had dated. After listing about half-a-dozen couples, at which point I was no longer in the conversation (but still obviously within earshot), one of them said “no wonder that never happens anymore; the office is all women, and HE’s the only guy [gesturing to me].” Thanks.

the gay bar

June 19th, 2011 by creepy? (cambridge, ma)

i went with a friend to a gay bar last night; i’m not gay, but he and his friends told me that there are plenty of women who go, and that straight guys do really well, since the women are friendlier and there is little competition. he was right that there were plenty of women. he and i started dancing near a group containing a really cute woman; she looked over, wrinkled her nose, and walked away. apparently, i’m even creepy in a gay bar.

No Really, I’m not Gay

May 28th, 2011 by Hetero (Dallas TX)

It’s not so bad when a woman makes a mistake and thinks you’re gay. I take it as a bit of a compliment, since the stereotype is that gay men are usually cultured, in shape, and good dressers. What is annoying is when a girl you’re talking to says she thinks you’re gay, and then tries to argue her point when you tell her that you’re not. What’s even worse is when she finds you at the bar, half an hour later, and resumes to argue that you’re gay.

The Super Hottie

November 8th, 2010 by too nervous to stop talking (Oakland, CA, USA)

I was out with a friend at a bar when I spotted this amazing women, a definite 10! She was WAY out of my league, but after about 10 minutes of psyching myself up (and some encouragement from me friend), I walked up to her and started a conversation. Although it was awkward, I just kept talking, and she was actually very friendly. It didn’t take long, however, for me to realize that she was not really into me (she kept looking around for her friends, or someone who could save her form this awkward conversation). The problem was, she was too polite to break off the conversation… and I was to terrified to do anything by keep talking. We went on like this for 10 uncomfortable, socially-awkward minutes, until her friends finally showed up.