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My Very Last Blind Date Ever!!!

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March 2nd, 2013 by nikki2 (New York, NY)

A much older cousin of mine said she knew a nice woman with a son who wanted to meet a bright young girl. Although I had never liked the notion of blind dates, I agreed just to please my cousin. The young man had planned the date, but certainly not with me in mind. He took me to a play…a very “talky” 3-hour drama with a single stage set and the dialogue entirely in Russian (a language in which I only know “thank you” and “oh, my god”)! I fell asleep by the middle of the first act and pleaded a splitting headache by the middle of the third. He then took me for dinner at a restaurant where we waited for service for an hour while he regaled me with virtually incomprehensible descriptions of his intricate engineering work in highly technical jargon and with diagrams drawn on several napkins. Even the food was poor (despite the fact that I was now hungry enough to eat nearly anything). I have never been so glad to be finally dropped off at my door!!!

Just My Luck

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February 27th, 2013 by K-Dog (Memphis Tennessee)

I was on my way for the first date with this beautiful young girl. While on the way there some jerk cut me off in trafic who I procedded to yell at as I drove by repassing them at over ninety miles an hour. I arrived at the restaurant and was thrilled to see my date come running out the front door and give me a hug. Things were going great as we went inside and ate. We talked for a long time and then she said she had a surprise for me. She told me that her mom was going to stop by and meet me at the restaurant. I was very excited about this because I knew I was in when I got to meet the parents. We go outside to wait for her and I see a blue car that very strangely resembles the car that had cut me off in traffic. Even stranger was the fact that I was now being pulled by my date towards this car. As we walked towards the car and her mom stepped out. You can imagine the rest.

When I started dating Andrew, we didn’t spend a whole lot of time together, but he seemed great. After awhile, we started dating very seriously and I would regularly spend nights at his house. This is how I discovered that he had some issues to work out before being ready for a relationship. After calling me one night because he had drunkenly locked himself out of his house, I helped him inside and witnessed a bizarre series of events. In his drunken state, he fell down into the floor, demanded that I retrieve him a hamburger from wherever was still open at 2am, and when I refused he asked his dog why I was mad at him. He continued a conversation with his dog until he began to cry. Needless to say, I wasn’t exactly impressed and the relationship didn’t last very much longer after that night.

Why I ordered 100 beers

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January 29th, 2013 by cyclone (Ames, IA)

When I was in college I dated a girl for a 2 months, she didn’t see a future in it so she dumped me. Then about 6 weeks later I ran into her in a bar. We got to talking and dancing, then while on the dance floor she grabbed me pushed me up against the wall and tried to remove my tonsils with her tongue. Well her friends had to go so we agreed to go to a movie in 2 days. I picked her up and she barely spoke but we went to the movie anyway, about half way through I went to put my arm around her and she got up and moved over 2 seats. Well I decided to cut my losses, when the movie ended I walked outside and said have a good life and left her standing out in front of the theater. I walked around the corner to my favorite bar where it was nickle draw night and slapped down a fiver on the bar and said give me 100 beers. I then called 3 of my buddies and commenced to drink all 100 beers while discussing the complexities of women.

Some guy I had a crush on all 4 years of high school finally asked me out on a date. I was so excited, I was telling friends and family about the good news, and losing sleep over it every night from the excitement! We talked for a week, until it was the night of our date. We planned out that he was going to pick me up at 8, and we would go for a dinner and a movie. I was looking very forward to this because I have liked this guy for so long. So we went out to a very fancy restaurant, the date was going great! I couldnt of asked for it to go any better! We were at the restaurant for about an hour before his phone rang off the hook! Every time he answered the call, and it sounded like he was fighting with his mom or something. I thought it was very rude he would even answer the phone during our date, let alone fight with someone for 25 minutes right in front of me! Anyway, so after we got done eating we left and we were on our way to the movie. His phone rang about 3 more times and he ignored it. I was extremely surprised when we did not pull into the movies, but we pulled into some random drive way that I didn’t even know. A girl our age came out and him and her started fighting, and she looked at me and got me involved by calling me very rude names, saying I was trying to take her boyfriend! I asked him what was going on and it turned out that was his girlfriend, and he asked me out on a date to get her jealous because they were fighting! I had to get my own ride home from her house.

Date gone wrong

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November 22nd, 2012 by zack (columbus, ohio)

Went on a blind date with a girl on valentines day, never a good idea, frist off she brought her kid. I had no idea she had a kid, second her kid was extremly rowdy at the restaurant. It was not the fanciest restaurant but it was not a cheap one either. Then she talked about how she wanted to drop her child off at her moms and drink a bottle of vodka. At this point i decided this was not the girl for me. Took her home, worst date ever.

I would consider myself a pretty attractive guy. I have no problem picking up women or getting a date but sometime my work schedule is crazy. For one business proposal I had to leave the country for about 2 months, flying back and forth from Japan. I never had time for dates. After coming home , my friends told me they had a nice blind date for me. Usually there taste in women is similar to mine so I thought why not. I couldn’t have been more wrong. When I picked this girl up she was dressed horrible. Her hair was all over and I don’t even know what she was wearing. Her face was pretty and her body was my type but everything else just screamed disaster to me. So she gets in the car and says hello. She has the raspiest man voice I’ve ever heard on a woman. I asked if she was joking around, she wasn’t and right then it got off to a bad start. At the restaurant this girl just sat and drank everything. She had at least 6 drinks in her by the time the food came and she was drunk. She kept telling me she was going to take me back to my place and have her way. I said that’s not happening. She then got up in a drunken rage and started crying in the middle of the restaurant. The she slammed her plate on the floor. Food was everywhere. I got up and left. I left the girl right on the floor of the restaurant. I immediately got in my car and went straight to my friends house. When I got there they were all laughing because they knew what they had done. One of my friends had met the girl in a bar and knew she was crazy. They thought it would be hilarious to stick me with her. To this day I still haven’t got them back.

My Eggs Are Drying Up

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December 18th, 2011 by Roger (Cleveland, Ohio)

A friend of mine arranged for me to go on a date with her coworker. She said we were super compatible and that it would be a great time. I’d been single for a while and thought ‘what the heck’. So I arranged to meet her at a particular table in one of my favorite restaurants. Upon her arrival, I thought all was well, nothing in her appearance struck me as odd and she seemed very pleasant. No sooner had we ordered however, did it all go awry. I expected questions about work hobbies and such; I had prepared to ask the very same questions myself. Her first question however was, “Do you want kids?”. I’ve never wanted kids personally, so I explained this to her and she immediately closed down and said something to the effect of ‘I’m wasting my time then’. This is literally moments after we’ve ordered dinner, we have a long way to go on this date and its shut down. I tried to make small talk but to no avail, she clammed up. I asked if I could be excused to use the restroom in order to regroup myself. I returned to the table a few minutes later to find her chair vacant but her jacket still there, I had presumed she went to use the restroom. When our food arrived and she hadn’t returned I became suspicious. A brief examination of the bar area confirmed this suspicion, as she was there chatting up another man. I politely interrupted and told her the food had arrived and received a cold, “I’m done with you. My eggs are drying up.” as a response. I’ll never forget that line.

Don’t Play Me

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May 24th, 2011 by Mess with Texas (Austin, TX)

I was visiting town, and out at a bar with a friend. He started to talk to this girl he was kind of interested in, and I noticed that her friend was standing awkwardly alone. Her friend wasn’t really my type, but I figured I’d at least say hi. Maybe she’d be fun to talk to? I walked up and to say hello, and she snapped back: “don’t try to play me”. This was awkward, but it was worse later, while we were standing around with our friends and she was still staring daggers at me.

Negativity

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May 22nd, 2011 by so bad (somverville, MA)

I just had a date that was so bad it was almost funny. She did not look like her photo on the dating website, but that wasn’t the problem. Her personality was SO negative. Throughout the course of the meal (which I tried to expedite whenever I could), she managed to insult everything that’s important to me. From the really important stuff (like progressive politics and education) to the simpler things (like caring about how I dress), nothing was safe. She did not even have thoughtful critiques that expressed her own point of view; she just thought everything was dumb. She may have been the most negative person I have ever met.