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clumsy

slip and fall

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March 31st, 2013 by spedly06 (warren, ohio)

I was trying to get with a guy that used to come into my work every day to get food. He didn’t seem interested but I kept trying to talk to him and go on a date with him. He finally agreed to go on a date and we agreed to meet that Saturday. Saturday rolls around and I’m looking all cute. Well it decided to snow and get super icy the night before and I didn’t even think about this as I was getting ready. I put a pair of sky high heels on and strutted out the door to his car. As soon as I walked out my door I hit an icy patch and went flying down the stairs and smacked right into the side of his car! He thought I was pretty stupid and the date went terribly. We never made it to a second date although I tried to give it another shot.

Misrepresenative

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February 20th, 2013 by berite (Missouri Valley IA)

This man said he was 42 in his profile, athletic and self employed . We talked via email for about a week and then by phone. We arranged to meet at a local diner. As I sat waiting, I observed a poor older man struggling with his walker. I thought, “poor guy can barely move.” Well imagine my horror when the old guy turned out to be my date! He tripped into the diner looked my way, smiled and called out, “there’s my girl!” OMG the only saving grace is I figure onlookers assumed I was his daughter. It turns out his pictures had been taken back in the eighties and he recently had both hips replaced!!! I informed him I could not stay on the date as he totally misrepresented himself. I wished him luck, got up and left. Later, he texted me and told me he was better off not seeing a “superficial bitch” like me.

Falling for you

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November 27th, 2012 by lilhut (Lubbock TX)

It was my sophomore year in college and I had never really even been out with a guy. I had always been overweight and a bit awkward. I had gotten dressed up to go out to eat with a guy. I had my friends do my hair and makeup. I put on a dress and even panty hose. I never wore them and well I do not wear them now. I remember being so nervous. He had been a friend for forever, but still actually going out to eat with him, it was nerve racking. I was ready to go and realized that I had an extra hour to waste. I was so nervous I completely forgot to look at the time. That was by far the longest hour ever! When the time came to go I met him in the quad on campus. We were going to meet there and walk to his car. I met him there and we started to talk and walk and decided to walk around a little bit before we went to eat. After about 30 minutes of walking around we started towards his car. His car was parked off to the side of one of the men’s dorms on campus. As we were coming up to his car I had stopped paying attention to what I was doing and was focusing on the conversation. Right about that time my foot caught a raise in the sidewalk and I found myself falling through the air in slow motion. Now being a bigger girl at the time, not pretty. The slow motion ended the second I hit and skidded across the concrete, not only tearing my panty hose, but taking what little bit of dignity I had left. Luckily we laughed about it all night!

I was waiting and waiting for the day that this girl and I were suppose to go out to a movie and then have dinner afterwards. I was so excited for the day to arrive since it was my first actual date and I was still a teenager. I arrived at her house to pick her up and then we went off the the movie theatre to go watch a quick comedy flick. The night was going smooth and we were having a great time. The movie started to get a little boring so I wrapped my arm around her and leaned in for the first kiss of the night…but that kiss turned into an accidental sneeze that landed directly into her face. I was so embarassed and the night was well ruined so I thought I would make up for it by taking her out to dinner. We went to her favorite restaraunt to eat and I paid for her food. The waiter came with the order and placed it on the table. We started to eat and we were laughing so I was feeling good about the rest of the night. I went to lean in once again to give her a small kiss from across the table and I accidentally knocked her drink over and it went all over her shirt and pants. She stood up from shock and screamed, ran off to the bathroom, and went to clean herself off. She came back to the table and told me that she wanted me to take her home. So after two depressing moments in the night I decided to finally take her back home and just end the first date. After that she never returned any phone calls or messages. Talk about a very bad first date!

I had met this man online and we met up for dinner. Everything was going fine so we decided to go back to his hotel (he was from out of town). We decided to go swimming. Somehow the drain got turned on when we got in and my top ripped off. One of the hotel’s staff showed up right then when I was half naked climbing out of the pool. My date’s response? He asked if the employee would have sex with someone like me. My response was to shove him into the pool and leave.

A couple of years ago I got out of a horrible relationship. The relationship lasted 3 years so I was pretty bummed when I was dumped. I decided to start dating again so I recruited all my friends to find me single men. This was a huge mistake, as some of my friends have completely different tastes in men than I do. I went on at least twenty dates, and they all became a blur until the very last one. My friend Cara set me up with her older brother’s roommate, Travis. She told me he was tall and had dark hair, which I’m attracted to tall, dark, and handsome men. I agreed to meet him at the Rec Plex to go ice skating. I drove up to the Rec Plex and waited for Travis by the entry as we planned. I saw someone drop this awkwardly lanky guy off. He had a baby blue scarf and a hat with the ball at the end of it. I thought, ladies and gentlemen we have a winner, as he shook my hand vigorously and mumbled “Travis”. You see Travis was nervous about the date, but he was more nervous about ice skating. He said “I’ve never been ice skating before, and I’ll end up in the emergency room. There will be blood everywhere.” I told him hew was overreacting and to try. We made it one lap and he slipped. A little girl skates right over his hand. I gasped. He was in the fetal position on the ice. We had to rush him to the hospital. The whole ride there he was crying and saying he was right. I felt terrible. When we got to the ER, the nurse asked me if I was his girlfriend, and I said “Hell no!”

short but not so sweet

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January 31st, 2012 by ba (beloit, wi)

My boyfriend took me out for a nice dinner. During it, he got up to use the bathroom. He ran into the waiter who was carrying food to another table and the waiter dropped the food on me.

Zoo vs. Swimming

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December 21st, 2011 by Slim (Knoxville, Tennessee)

Back when I lived in K-Town I took this really fine girl that I had known since high school on a date. Originally, she had wanted us to go to the Knoxville Zoo. But since zoos stink really bad and if I wanted to watch monkeys mate I would watch the Discovery Channel, I tried persuading her to go on a short cruise on one of K-Town’s riverboats. Immediately after I had suggested it she tells me that she can’t swim and hates fish. I laugh, and say we’ll only be on a boat today and there would be no swimming involved. She hesitates, but caves in. We buy our tickets and prepare to board. At this point I believe she begins warming up to the cruise idea because she becomes really chatty and admires the local scenery a great deal. We go to board and up the ramp we go. About midway one of her heel gets stuck in a hole in the ramp and she just flips backwards right in to an elderly couple. This makes them fall and no longer gives my date anything to brace herself against so she slips under the railing and falls right in to the water. At this point, my emotions are mixed with shock and laughter. I get off the ramp and wade down in to the water to her and she is FURIOUS and says she had known something like this would happen and that we should have went to the zoo instead.

When I was in elementary school I sat next to this girl and we became friends. We began to talk to each other and helped each other with homework. By the end of elementary school we were good friends. In middle school things started getting more in depth. We had similar classes since we were both pretty smart. We often studied together; we swam in the same swim team and talked to each other even more. At lunch we sat with each other and by the end of middle school we were like brother and sister. In high school we were always just friends and never talked about having relationships but we both knew it was somewhere in the back of our minds. I guess having been friends since we were 8 made it kind of awkward. One day when we were juniors I asked her if she wanted to go see the new Harry Potter with me and she said sure. So we went to the movie and got our popcorn and found a good seat. About half way through the movie I had to go use the restroom but as I was standing up I knocked over my Pepsi on to her and it spilled all over. It was rather embarrassing because the theater was pretty crowded and they all saw us. She felt really embarrassed too and went to the restroom to clean up, but she never came back. I didn’t know where she was and then at school she didn’t talk to me anymore. I heard from a friend that a guy from our school saw with the drink spilled on her and took a picture and was now sending it around. I thought I had a chance with her but my clumsiness just ruined it.

Knee in the back

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September 17th, 2010 by embarrassed (Denver, CO)

During high school, I went with a group of students to a state tournament. One night, our teachers turned early, and we had a party in one of the rooms. By the end of the night, I was left in my room with a cute sophomore named Amy. After returning from brushing my teeth in the bathroom, I noticed that Amy was in my bed. “Hmm…” I thought, “if she’s sleeping there, where will I sleep?” I vocalized this concern. Giggling, she told me to get into bed, which I did with a combination of excitement and terror. Eventually, I came to the realization that I should make my move. In the intervening hour since I crawled into bed, she’d fallen asleep. Determined to subtly rouse her, I nudged her gently in the small of her back with my knee. This led to nothing, so I stepped up my efforts and nudged her slightly less gently (again to no avail). This went on until I finally drifted off to sleep. By the time I finished breakfast the next morning, it was as if the whole thing had never happened. That is, until our whole group (less our teachers, of course) convened, and Amy walked up to me and said “wow, I shouldn’t sleep with you again; you were kneeing me in the back all night.” I was mortified. I thought that everyone in our group must think I was a huge looser. In retrospect, I realize that one of the cutest sophomores in our school had just confirmed (in front of a large audience of our peers) that she and I had slept in the same bed the night before. I should have been pleased. Instead, I felt embarrassed and ashamed around her for the next year and half.