1-800-GET-LOST

awkward

I remember way back when I was in high school and had a crush on one of the hottest (I thought so at least) girls in school. We had a few classes with each other and over the course of the school we got to know one another a bit. Nothing major just chit chat walking to class here and there occasionally sitting with each other at lunch if we couldn’t find any of our respective clicks to sit with. As the end of the school year was approaching so was that horribly awkward time when every guy was expected to man up and ask some girl to the prom. My whole high school career I had been dreading this moment in time. Ya see I have never been quite the lady killer if ya know what I mean. I was that one guy who girls always likened me to their brother not the guy they wanted to hook up with after the game at some keger in the woods. As the time was quickly approaching to make a fool of myself I could only think of one girl that was worth receiving the inevitable rejection from. Ya guessed it, the hot chick that I had gotten to know over the year. So one day I gathered the courage up approached the hot girl and popped the question, will ya goto prom with me? The answer came quick and swift “I would if I wasn’t gay.” Now I had been turned many times before but never like that. “I would if I wasn’t gay”, I had no idea if she was telling the truth or not but I wasn’t going to ask. Needless to say I spent prom at home playing Donkey Kong on my No-friend-o.

I was waiting and waiting for the day that this girl and I were suppose to go out to a movie and then have dinner afterwards. I was so excited for the day to arrive since it was my first actual date and I was still a teenager. I arrived at her house to pick her up and then we went off the the movie theatre to go watch a quick comedy flick. The night was going smooth and we were having a great time. The movie started to get a little boring so I wrapped my arm around her and leaned in for the first kiss of the night…but that kiss turned into an accidental sneeze that landed directly into her face. I was so embarassed and the night was well ruined so I thought I would make up for it by taking her out to dinner. We went to her favorite restaraunt to eat and I paid for her food. The waiter came with the order and placed it on the table. We started to eat and we were laughing so I was feeling good about the rest of the night. I went to lean in once again to give her a small kiss from across the table and I accidentally knocked her drink over and it went all over her shirt and pants. She stood up from shock and screamed, ran off to the bathroom, and went to clean herself off. She came back to the table and told me that she wanted me to take her home. So after two depressing moments in the night I decided to finally take her back home and just end the first date. After that she never returned any phone calls or messages. Talk about a very bad first date!

Exchanging “Kisses”

c
October 18th, 2012 by The Inhaler (Lubbock, TX)

The first girl that I ever went on an actual date with did not turn out quite like I imagined. I did the cliche date that I had always heard about growing up, dinner followed by a movie. I had also heard growing up that there was the chance of a “goodnight kiss”, so I was excited and nervous. I had practiced my kissing, on pillows and hands of course, all week leading up to the date. I couldn’t wait for that magical moment that we would get to kiss. We ate dinner at a fast food hamburger place, keep in mind that I was in high school, and then went to the theater to see some comedy movie. During the movie, we were holding hands, and I decided to go for it. I leaned in and planted a kiss on her. The kiss was going well at first, but as our lips parted, there was suddenly a rush of air filling my mouth along with a small grunting sound. My magical first kissed had turned into her burping in my open mouth. My cheeks puffed out, and I wasn’t quite sure what to do. I didn’t want to swallow her burp air, so I of course, blew it back into her mouth. Needless to say, the mood was killed, and we had no second date.

I had to do a project with a girl in my class, and all during our meeting she talked about the blind date she was going on and how nervous she was. I ended up doing all the work and told her that she was really no help to me. After that, she was very bitchy and threw me some nice insults before she stormed off. That night, me and my friend went on a double date with this girl he liked and her friend. The friend (who was supposed to be for me) was the girl from my class. It went on from there, we didn’t say one word to each other and my friend cant really keep conversation. On top of that, my friend tried to make conversation on how great a friend I was, and that the girl is lucky to have this opportunity with me. Then my friend payed the check and the girl my friend was interested in never called him again. I felt bad but it was probably for the best.

A couple of years ago I got out of a horrible relationship. The relationship lasted 3 years so I was pretty bummed when I was dumped. I decided to start dating again so I recruited all my friends to find me single men. This was a huge mistake, as some of my friends have completely different tastes in men than I do. I went on at least twenty dates, and they all became a blur until the very last one. My friend Cara set me up with her older brother’s roommate, Travis. She told me he was tall and had dark hair, which I’m attracted to tall, dark, and handsome men. I agreed to meet him at the Rec Plex to go ice skating. I drove up to the Rec Plex and waited for Travis by the entry as we planned. I saw someone drop this awkwardly lanky guy off. He had a baby blue scarf and a hat with the ball at the end of it. I thought, ladies and gentlemen we have a winner, as he shook my hand vigorously and mumbled “Travis”. You see Travis was nervous about the date, but he was more nervous about ice skating. He said “I’ve never been ice skating before, and I’ll end up in the emergency room. There will be blood everywhere.” I told him hew was overreacting and to try. We made it one lap and he slipped. A little girl skates right over his hand. I gasped. He was in the fetal position on the ice. We had to rush him to the hospital. The whole ride there he was crying and saying he was right. I felt terrible. When we got to the ER, the nurse asked me if I was his girlfriend, and I said “Hell no!”

I talked with a guy online for awhile and he seemed really cool. We met for a date and it soon became apparent that the vivacious and interesting man online was in reality a major bore. We sat through an awkward meal where he complained about how girls dislike him and usually don’t want to date him. He said he was anxious to find a girlfriend before his deployment overseas, so I felt majorly pressured to make a commitment. On the drive home, he complained at length about the last girl he dated (and rejected him). I felt very sorry for him, but didn’t want to date someone out of pity. When he asked me to be his girlfriend I declined. I’m sure he complained about my rejection on his next date…

I would consider myself a pretty attractive guy. I have no problem picking up women or getting a date but sometime my work schedule is crazy. For one business proposal I had to leave the country for about 2 months, flying back and forth from Japan. I never had time for dates. After coming home , my friends told me they had a nice blind date for me. Usually there taste in women is similar to mine so I thought why not. I couldn’t have been more wrong. When I picked this girl up she was dressed horrible. Her hair was all over and I don’t even know what she was wearing. Her face was pretty and her body was my type but everything else just screamed disaster to me. So she gets in the car and says hello. She has the raspiest man voice I’ve ever heard on a woman. I asked if she was joking around, she wasn’t and right then it got off to a bad start. At the restaurant this girl just sat and drank everything. She had at least 6 drinks in her by the time the food came and she was drunk. She kept telling me she was going to take me back to my place and have her way. I said that’s not happening. She then got up in a drunken rage and started crying in the middle of the restaurant. The she slammed her plate on the floor. Food was everywhere. I got up and left. I left the girl right on the floor of the restaurant. I immediately got in my car and went straight to my friends house. When I got there they were all laughing because they knew what they had done. One of my friends had met the girl in a bar and knew she was crazy. They thought it would be hilarious to stick me with her. To this day I still haven’t got them back.

The Time When The Fire Died

c
September 13th, 2012 by Tommy Gunn (Los Angeles)

It was a cold winter night and she was really itching to get back to my apartment. I was very excited to say the least. She was a 10 out of 10, no doubt. When we got back she asked for some wine. I was thinking to myself that the whole thing was going perfectly. We lit a fire in my living room fireplace. The mood was perfect. And then the doorbell rang. It was my boss. I answered the door, stunned. My boss saw what was going on and, to my horror, I found out that the girl I was courting was my boss’s daughter. Yeah….needless to say it was a slight mood killer.

Walmart Dating

c
September 8th, 2012 by Anguish (Hamburg, PA)

I started talking to this guy through a popular online dating site and everything was going great. He was cute and had a great personality. We talked on the phone and agreed to meet up at Walmart before going out somewhere else. I got to Walmart before him and was about to leave when he finally showed up. He looked nothing like his photograph, about 50 lbs more and a lot less hair. He suggested we walk around the store for a little and decide where to go. I agreed and we walked around Walmart for the next 20 minutes as he told me random facts about himself and made creepy passes at me. When we got outside the store, I was ready to go home, but he wanted to do something else. He told me he didn’t have any money though, and suggested that we go parking instead. I told him that I was too tired to go anywhere and left. Never to contact him again.

WORST Date EVER!

c
September 3rd, 2012 by bklynzgirl11 (Brooklyn, NY)

My best friend set me up with an acquaintance from work. She explained him to me and i said he sounds pretty good, so sure I’ll go on a date with him if he’s willing. Two days later, I get a phone call from the guy. He tells me it would be nice to go on a date with me so we made plans to go out the Saturday night coming up. Saturday comes a long, he picks me up and we go to a restaurant in New York City. We started talking and everything was going good.. until he asks me about my ex. So I tell him why we broke up etc. He then proceeds to tell me that he was a jerk and was stupid to let me go. I was thinking “man this guy is really nice”. Suddenly, I feel something touching my leg under the table. I look up at him and he smiles and tells me he’s a stripper and that we should get out of here and have some fun. I got up and ran out the restaurant. Appalled, I call my friend and tell her what happened, she was surprised to here that and apologized like crazy. All I could think of was thank God we didn’t even kiss because God only knows what he had. NEVER AGAIN will I allow my friends or anyone for that matter to set me up with anyone under any circumstances and I don’t care if he’s the President’s son, I will NOT agree to any more blind dates especially after the “lovely” experience I had that Saturday night. And I will not ever forget that date for as long as I live and neither will my friend because I still complain about it till today.