1-800-GET-LOST

awkward

We saw Elf

c
April 8th, 2013 by Roger (Phoenix, Arizona)

I met this girl from a mutual friend. I had her phone number and were just texting each other. We decided to meet. I picked her up and she lit up a cigarette in my car. I said “there’s no smoking in my car” but she decided to smoke anyway. Then we saw ELF with Will Farrell. It was clear she though the film was too childish, and it was horribly awkward watching the movie together. Then when I was taking her home she asked to be dropped off at the bus stop instead of having me take her all the way home! It was not a fun date and I never heard from her again.

Kissing Cousins

c
March 26th, 2013 by Cutie814 (Albany, NY)

I was a late bloomer. I was so excited to finally have a boyfriend. Everything was going great for the first few dates. Things were getting pretty hot and we where both into each other. Then he suddenly broke it off. I found out later that we were third cousins. His parents told him and that’s why he ended things. How embarrassing. I guess if I went to family reunions, I’d have know this.

Doomed from the very start

c
March 17th, 2013 by Molly (Tallahassee, FL)

I had a crush on this guy from church I knew so when his birthday came around I volunteered to hand deliver his card. I was feeling a little icky, but assumed that it was just nerves. He answered the door and seemed pleased to see me and invited me in. He was alone watching some tv movie. He gave me a tour of his apartment and as we were walking around I realized it was not nerves after all. I was thinking I better get the hell out of there. He must have been lonesome because he sort of insisted I stay and watch the movie. I thought, fine, I’ll hit the bathroom and all will be well. I ask if I may and head for the stairs. He says, “there is a bathroom right here, GO ahead”. I was mentally knocking my head into the wall because it was right next to the steps. I had to do it though so I went in, ran the water and prayed for the best. When I came out, he didn’t look like he was suppressing laughter so I thought perhaps I was in the clear. Well, I sat back down and realized this was not over. I stuck it out as long as I could, made an excuse and left. I made it not a block when I had to jump out and puke on the lawn, I could still see his front door. I got a call a few minutes later from a co worker who wanted to know if I also had the stomach flu…. WTF. SO the next day, church boy calls to say hi while walking his dog. He tells me to hand on, and I hear him yelling “NOOOOO don’t eat that”. He comes back and says, “I gotta go, some a-hole puked on the lawn and my dog is eating it”. Doomed.

One of the worst dates I ever went on was when I was in high school. A cute boy from my high school band had asked me out to see a movie and then go out to dinner. He was a gymnast and incredibly cute so I was very excited about the date. We had planned to go see a romantic comedy, but when we arrived at the movie theatre, the comedy was sold out and we ended up seeing a Will Ferrell. It was incredibly crude and crass and especially on a first date, it made us both really uncomfortable. We sat through the movie not being able to look at each other and hoping that it would end soon, obviously not what you’re looking for on a date. Afterwards, we went out to dinner. I ordered first and got a small steak with a baked potato since steak is what the restaurant was known for. What I didn’t realize was that gymnasts are always worried about staying slim and constantly watching their weight. He usually ate very small portions, especially when eating out at a restaurant. He ordered his meal after me and got a small side salad with dressing on the side. I thought he was joking at first, but then I realized that he was serious and my face turned bright red. So, of course when my food arrived, I could barely eat any of it and I was so embarrassed that I had ordered more than he had. Surprisingly, he did ask me out again and we dated for a few months, but that first date gives us a lot of laughs even today.

Just My Luck

c
February 27th, 2013 by K-Dog (Memphis Tennessee)

I was on my way for the first date with this beautiful young girl. While on the way there some jerk cut me off in trafic who I procedded to yell at as I drove by repassing them at over ninety miles an hour. I arrived at the restaurant and was thrilled to see my date come running out the front door and give me a hug. Things were going great as we went inside and ate. We talked for a long time and then she said she had a surprise for me. She told me that her mom was going to stop by and meet me at the restaurant. I was very excited about this because I knew I was in when I got to meet the parents. We go outside to wait for her and I see a blue car that very strangely resembles the car that had cut me off in traffic. Even stranger was the fact that I was now being pulled by my date towards this car. As we walked towards the car and her mom stepped out. You can imagine the rest.

The Blind (*wrong) Date

c
February 13th, 2013 by Mandy (Elizabeth City NC)

I had a blind date that was set up by a friend. However, although the boy I was to meet for the date was to call first, we missed each others call and so did not get a chance to actually talk before we met. So I showed up for the date not really knowing what to look for since I only had a brief description of my date. However, when I got to the restaurant there was a man sitting at the door waiting for his date. He overheard me on the phone with my friend telling her that I was there and what should I look for. In doing so the man thought I was in fact his date. So he came up and we started talking and then we proceeded to have a seat and order dinner. After we ordered our dinner we started talking and about the shared friend and realized that we actually were not the blind dates that were set up. However, we did find our actual dates and we all ended up eating together.

When I started dating Andrew, we didn’t spend a whole lot of time together, but he seemed great. After awhile, we started dating very seriously and I would regularly spend nights at his house. This is how I discovered that he had some issues to work out before being ready for a relationship. After calling me one night because he had drunkenly locked himself out of his house, I helped him inside and witnessed a bizarre series of events. In his drunken state, he fell down into the floor, demanded that I retrieve him a hamburger from wherever was still open at 2am, and when I refused he asked his dog why I was mad at him. He continued a conversation with his dog until he began to cry. Needless to say, I wasn’t exactly impressed and the relationship didn’t last very much longer after that night.

Speechless in Atlanta

c
January 15th, 2013 by Gabby (Atlanta, GA)

I was set up on a blind date by a friend of mine. She told me how nice he was, we were interested in the same things, and we were perfect for each other. I reluctantly agreed. When we met at the restaurant I quickly learned that he didn’t speak English. I don’t know a lick of Spanish so we ate quietly occasionally trying to act out what we were saying. We laughed about it. At least I think he was laughing about the mix-up.

Deja Vu

c
January 9th, 2013 by Sasha (Goshen, VA)

It had been a while since my boyfriend and I split up and eventually I began to search for someone else to date. I had recently made a new friend I met through work and she said she had the perfect guy for me to date. She didn’t give me any specifics, she claimed it was going to be a blind date. I had never been on one of those before but, I was excited none the less. Well, I showed up for the blind date wondering what to expect. I certainly didn’t expect my ex to walk in being led by my new friend. It turns out he was to be my date for the night.

Falling for you

c
November 27th, 2012 by lilhut (Lubbock TX)

It was my sophomore year in college and I had never really even been out with a guy. I had always been overweight and a bit awkward. I had gotten dressed up to go out to eat with a guy. I had my friends do my hair and makeup. I put on a dress and even panty hose. I never wore them and well I do not wear them now. I remember being so nervous. He had been a friend for forever, but still actually going out to eat with him, it was nerve racking. I was ready to go and realized that I had an extra hour to waste. I was so nervous I completely forgot to look at the time. That was by far the longest hour ever! When the time came to go I met him in the quad on campus. We were going to meet there and walk to his car. I met him there and we started to talk and walk and decided to walk around a little bit before we went to eat. After about 30 minutes of walking around we started towards his car. His car was parked off to the side of one of the men’s dorms on campus. As we were coming up to his car I had stopped paying attention to what I was doing and was focusing on the conversation. Right about that time my foot caught a raise in the sidewalk and I found myself falling through the air in slow motion. Now being a bigger girl at the time, not pretty. The slow motion ended the second I hit and skidded across the concrete, not only tearing my panty hose, but taking what little bit of dignity I had left. Luckily we laughed about it all night!