My Eggs Are Drying Up

December 18th, 2011 by Roger (Cleveland, Ohio)

A friend of mine arranged for me to go on a date with her coworker. She said we were super compatible and that it would be a great time. I’d been single for a while and thought ‘what the heck’. So I arranged to meet her at a particular table in one of my favorite restaurants. Upon her arrival, I thought all was well, nothing in her appearance struck me as odd and she seemed very pleasant. No sooner had we ordered however, did it all go awry. I expected questions about work hobbies and such; I had prepared to ask the very same questions myself. Her first question however was, “Do you want kids?”. I’ve never wanted kids personally, so I explained this to her and she immediately closed down and said something to the effect of ‘I’m wasting my time then’. This is literally moments after we’ve ordered dinner, we have a long way to go on this date and its shut down. I tried to make small talk but to no avail, she clammed up. I asked if I could be excused to use the restroom in order to regroup myself. I returned to the table a few minutes later to find her chair vacant but her jacket still there, I had presumed she went to use the restroom. When our food arrived and she hadn’t returned I became suspicious. A brief examination of the bar area confirmed this suspicion, as she was there chatting up another man. I politely interrupted and told her the food had arrived and received a cold, “I’m done with you. My eggs are drying up.” as a response. I’ll never forget that line.

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